'Feeling High Correlates with Greater Symptom Relief for Medical Cannabis Patients, Study Finds - God finally answers prayers of stoners'

'Feeling High Correlates with Greater Symptom Relief for Medical Cannabis Patients, Study Finds - God finally answers prayers of stoners'

In a groundbreaking study, research has finally confirmed what stoners have been claiming all along: smoking weed makes everything better. According to the study, feeling high correlates with greater symptom relief for medical cannabis patients. It's almost like the universe is saying 'take a hit, it'll make everything all right.'

Of course, this news has been met with mixed emotions. Employers are worried their employees will become unproductive and start raiding the office fridge, while parents fear their kids will start singing songs about purple dragons and pizza. But for stoners everywhere, this is a huge win. Finally, the medical benefits of weed are being recognized by science.

One anonymous participant in the study had this to say: 'I've been telling my doctor for years that smoking weed makes my back pain go away, but he just told me to take an Advil. Now I feel vindicated.' It's safe to say that the medical community has a lot of catching up to do.

In conclusion, we can only hope that this study leads to greater acceptance and understanding of the benefits of cannabis. Maybe one day, we won't even need a prescription to get our daily dose of happiness. Until then, happy puffing!

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