Biden Calls Off NATO Summit After Discovering Perfectly Good Excuse to Stay Home

Brussels - Biden's announcement that he would not attend a NATO summit next month because of the rising covid-19 cases in Europe received overwhelming applause from the White House staff. The explanation provided is enough to convince anyone who is familiar with the pandemic's ground realities. However, close sources have confirmed that Joe had a 'not-so-secret' reason for skipping the gathering as he discovered a perfectly good excuse to stay home. This sudden plan worked out quite well for the President since he has a lot on his plate. The President initially considered calling off the event because most NATO allies have not met their defense spending commitments, but found that idea too little, too late. Instead, he landed on the coronavirus as the perfect solution, providing administration officials with enough political cover and the President with a convincing excuse to stay in D.C. According to a White House spokesperson, Joe is not too thrilled with traveling abroad, 'These short-notice trips are always a hassle, and the whole thing is such a drag, he just couldn't keep his eyes open during the last summit.' Talks with advisors indicate Biden will spend the extra weeks saved fine-tuning his elaborate American Families Plan and preparing for his meeting with Russian President Putin later in June. For now, NATO officials are at a loss, unsure of what to do about the upcoming situation. Some of his contemporaries have expressed concern that Biden's unwillingness to meet with NATO leaders will make a return to our pre-Trump policy of neglecting America's vital security agreements, aggravating those already nervous about the American withdrawal from Afghanistan.